As soon as I walked through security, I burst into tears. I’d hugged my mom and brother, took off my shoes and emptied my pockets while an uncontrollable surge of emotion flooded my heart. I was really going to miss them. The security guards felt noticeably uncomfortable; wanting and not wanting to look at me simultaneously, they scooted me through the line quickly. I sobbed while I got my shoes back on and after looking back for one more wave goodbye, I hustled through the airport terminal toward my departure gate.
Do you remember what it felt like when you independently started doing something new in your life? Maybe it was the first day of school or college; maybe it was a job interview or when you moved away from home. I had that feeling a little when I turned 10 years old. I distinctly remember standing in the kitchen doorway and saying with 100% confidence and more sass than perhaps appropriate, “Look Mom, I’m double digits now. I should be able to ride my bike to Kerry’s house.” I was aware of me, and I had the sensation that I was somehow laying pavement in my life, to explore something new and previously uncharted.
As I was crying on my way to my departure gate, I felt that same kind of thing happen, but on a whole new level. Soaked in humility, it just suddenly occurred to me that I was about to embark on a journey that I choose for my life. In the past when I’ve left for Asia, I’m in a crowd of 50 other Americans all doing the same thing. I don’t have to worry about the details of the trip or think much about what’s ahead. But this trip was not like that. I felt this thing happen in my heart. I called out to God. “I need you now, God. It’s you and me. It’s just me here. Be with me.”
And He did; He is. I have this budding sense in my heart that this year is going to be different somehow. Aside from physical changes like not having a partner this year, I feel like I’m growing, that my faith is maturing and something in my heart has turned to rely on him at a new level. God is showing me a greater way to love people around me and follow Him.
We’ve already had a couple great meetings. I joined up with my brothers who were just starting a book study with their friends Storm and Allison – and our meetings have been incredible. Yesterday, when we were studying Jesus’s first miracle, Allison immediately wanted to know what the deeper meaning of the story is. She could see that he turned water into wine, but felt that there must be something more. We let the conversation go on, and as we started to suggest little ideas, and share personal testimonies, Allison calmly and seriously said,
“Oh, I think I get it. Maybe my interpretation isn’t right, but it seems to me that…water is colorless, and tasteless, and wine is colorful and flavorful. Maybe the deeper meaning is that Jesus can take even the most colorless life and turn it into something more beautiful. The wine that Jesus made was the best wine. Maybe it is also the best life.”
. Wow .
As someone who has studied and read that miracle dozens of times, I’m not sure I even got that much understanding about it in the past! We all just sat there, smiling from ear to ear. God was most definitely enabling Allison, Storm, Me and my team to learn more about him and expand our hearts.
Please pray for Storm and Allison and also pray that God would continue leading me, that I would meet hungry girls who are ready to hear the truth and have open hearts.
Thank you! And may God also bless, encourage, and show you Himself in greater ways this week!
Love, In Him,