“I’ve counted up the cost and all my worth is in the cross.”
These words have been echoing in my head for the past couple of days and I have been praying them for many more. Stepping out as an overseas worker, you wouldn’t think that you would be faced with the question “Is this actually worth it?” Because in the midst of trouble, hardship, relationships, distance, and sickness, stepping out for God sometimes does not feel worth it. I actually have the urge to run to my family, my feelings of loneliness, my desire for comfort instead of to Him. So I have been praying that God would show me the worth in going where He leads. It’s not easy; it means laying down every desire and want that you have, trusting that God is as good as He claims and to go where He leads, even if it means you lose everything else on Earth. Because He is worth it.
Despite how I feel, He’s moving. He never stops for anyone and He’s been doing amazing things here. Just a few weeks ago, my team and I had two Christmas parties. Our first party was kind of a trial run for our second one, especially since we knew we’d have a lot more people attending! Even though our first party wasn’t as lively as we expected, we had two people say yes to God! Oh, how He amazes us even when we don’t expect it!
As we prepared for our second party, we started realizing that God had some amazing things planned for us, which was making the enemy angry. Two of our team members got stuck in the police office for many hours, as they were interrogated for not registering in time (we have to register at the police office every time we leave the country and re-enter). I had to run to campus to find our friends and bring them back to our apartment with minutes to spare and found about 30 of our Asian friends waiting! The party was already in full swing as 30 Asian students and I arrived. We had over 45 friends in our living room, laughing, playing games, and for many, hearing about the true story of Christmas for the first time ever.
We broke up into small groups and my Asian sister, Kristina, who just said yes a few weeks ago, helped me to lead our friends to knowing more about Jesus… and guess what? 5 OF OUR FRIENDS SAID YES!!!!! It was an amazing moment, seeing God move into the hearts of our new brothers and sisters.
The fact that within a course of 5 days, we saw 7 people cross over from death to life and start a relationship with God is worth every bit of pain and suffering I may have been experiencing. Stepping out with God and for Him is never easy but there are rewards. There’s nothing better in life than to see people abandon what they know to be true and embrace the one and true God. I’m walking through a season of counting the cost and He’s showing me that my worth is found in His cross.