You may have guessed it by the subject – Yes, it happened again. Because of our distance from campus (30-40min walk), and just because I love riding bike, I asked the Lord and felt Him give me the go ahead to buy a bike last week. It was a slick blue “GINT” 😉 (as opposed to my old GIANT mountain bike) and even though it was not a relatively great quality bike, I was loving it…….for about 3 days.
Then once again, I came out of class on Thursday and there was no trace. Before you ask, yes it was locked with a solid chain. If you’ve ever had something stolen, you know the feeling – something like a pause in your heart as time stops and you look again and again, not wanting to believe your eyes. Slowly and reluctantly, you come to the full realization of the truth. Then comes the crucial moment, where you have to decide how you will respond……………..
I confess there were a few minutes of anger at the injustice of the situation. I remembered David’s writing in the Psalms and expressed my heart to God, questioning Him, all but blaming Him for letting this happen. It was also at this time when I sensed the enemy very strongly siding with my emotions and tempting me to direct my anger at the Lord…..”After all, He is sovere-gn, is He not? He could have stopped this from happening.” Then amping it up, “Does He really love you like you think He does?”
I asked the L0rd to speak to me – and thanked Him that some of you were probably praying for me right at that moment. He quickly reminded me of all I DO have in Him. Not possessions (after all, the bike, like everything else on this earth, was never REALLY mine), but personal salvation,
the fullness of His presence
day and night, His joy
, His grace, h0pe
in His redeeming every single thing that’s ever gone wrong in this world, the new family
and spirit we have been baptized into
, and a loving relationship with HIM
All of this came flooding in and easily and completely overwhelmed all else.
Soon, I was able to laugh at the situation and forgive. ***Not that I didn’t go home and do some martial arts with my roommates to take out some aggression – that cardboard box didn’t stand a chance! ; P
What I’ve been sensing the Father say recently is this: “I want to give you all a Job-like ann0inting, I want to grow in you that steadfastness that no matter what circumstances look like, no matter what you feel like inside, you could and would fall to the ground in worship of ME. For I AM worthy. Don’t try to understand and make sense of my every word and deed – I have told you plainly (IS. 55:8-9) ‘My ways are not your ways; they are beyond you.'”
Praise Him for that – if we could completely understand Him, He would not be so great as He is. By His actions on earth, and by the Holy Spirit, we know WHO our G0d is, and that is more than enough. I will be praying this for you all, and thank you for your prayers.