This week, I am sad to report, I was beat up by a small Asian woman who was half my size, and the worst part of it all, I paid her to do it.

This was supposed to be a relaxing experience. It is important that every worker for God to take time to enjoy some much needed down time every once in a while and that is exactly what I set out to do on Wednesday afternoon. It was my first massage ever and I was so excited! Of course, I had no idea what was being said but as I stuck my feet in the scented water that felt as if some jello had been added for extra squishy-ness, I knew it was going to be good……

Then the pain started.

Her appearance was so disarming, how could I have known what was in store? She maybe weighed 120 pounds and looked me straight in the throat but somewhere inside her wispy frame lurked a very strong beast of a woman. Her tiny hands soon began to inflict exponential amounts of pain on my back and neck and it was a good thing that she could not see my face throughout this process because I am sure it resembled the face of a woman in labor. Looking back on the whole experience, I am sure I could have asked her to be more gentle but 1) I don’t know how to say that yet, and 2) I didn’t want the friends I was with to think I couldn’t take a “relaxing” back and foot massage.

An hour later it was all over. I summoned my weary and aching muscles to walk to the door where I PAID the little woman for her beating. Another lesson learned: Asian masseurs are stronger than they look….