“Come you tired and weary, come just as you are. Come and let His mercy heal your heart.”-Phil Wickham
I would love to tell you that being in Asia is constantly amazing and that my faith in God is always growing, but sadly that would be completely untrue. It really is an awesome experience having the opportunity to do this work, but when Satan is attacking you from all sides, tired and weary doesn’t begin to cover everything you feel. A couple weeks ago I began to feel serious doubts about my belief in God and what I was doing over here. Usually when I start feeling like this I just ask people to pray for me and I can work through it. This time it was different. I just couldn’t shake the feelings of apathy and doubt. That night I had asked someone to lead the weekly prayer meeting (which I usually lead) because I knew I did not have the strength to do it, but he said he wasn’t feeling well either and that he would rather stay home. I found out later he was having the same doubts as I was. I decided that we just wouldn’t have one that week. Fortunately, my friend Aidan stepped up and decided to lead it last minute. At the prayer meeting I discovered most of the people on the team were feeling some of the same feelings. We had also planned on having a baptism service the next day, but that night all of the Asian people who were to be baptized backed out! As discouraging as that sounds it actually helped me quite a bit. Because the feelings of doubt were so widespread (even to our Asian friends) I knew they could only be coming from the enemy. This convinced me there had to be an enemy which in turn reaffirmed my belief in God. Despite how hard those days were I know my relationship with God is stronger now because of them. Oh and our baptismal service ended up being a great worship and learning time for our Asian friends who came!
We have a new believer! We ended up at the campus late last Thursday night which, turns out, is when the English corner meets. The English corner is where Asian people go to practice English, so they LOVE when foreigners come. An Asian woman called us over to them as we walked by who turned out to be named Sabrina. She’s not a student, and she’s so full of energy and kindness. She actually lives about two minutes away from Amerie and I. Anyway, we shared at the English corner, and she was so interested that she called us the next day to meet at McDonald’s! She became a Christian right there in Mickey D’s.
Well, I made it to my twentieth year of life. I got to eat chicken quesadillas with my eight American friends as well as hear them sing “Happy Birthday” to me at midnight. I love these people a lot. This was my second time having my birthday in Asia. I wonder how many more there will be… 😉