Warning: If you want to believe missionaries are perfect, don’t keep reading 🙂
On Friday I boarded a plane traveling from Texas to New York knowing that I probably won’t be back for at least another year, maybe longer. Walking away from my parents on that day was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in a long time. I’ve recently prayed that God would give me more passion for life and for following Him. I had no idea that these prayers would open my heart to so much more love for those around me. While a part of my heart is still with the Asian people who desperately need to hear about Jesus, it’s not easy to put that need above my love for my family and friends here in America. Ultimately, though this makes leaving America that much harder, I am so glad that God has opened my heart to this level of compassion.
Following God is a daily surrender to a truth that he is worthy of any difficult things that I would encounter. I’m not saying this is easy. Honestly, I doubt a lot. Many days I feel like giving up and coming back to America to live a “normal” life. I wish I could say that I always count him as worthy of my life, but some days I’m selfish. The truly amazing thing is, despite this doubt and blatant dishonor, God chooses to draw me back in. He’s not just some heavenly figure that stands there demanding to be worshiped (even though He would be justified in doing so). He meets us where we are. I hope that encourages you as much as it does me. With that truth in mind, I will board that plane on January 11th and take one more step in this attempt to offer all I have to him who is worthy. 🙂
I hope your holidays were filled with good times and joy. I’ll be praying for you as we go into the new year!