After partaking in shenanigans with my teammates yesterday to celebrate our friend’s birthday, I was never more excited about coming home and jumping into my bed. It didn’t take long for me to enter into dreamland once my head hit the pillow. However, my goodnight’s sleep was going to come to an end. About a little after 6 am I was woken up out of a dead sleep. Not because I was experiencing a scary dream, or because my alarm went off. But because God had woken me up.
Upon being woken up I heard the name: “Joshua.” Still being half asleep and slightly irritated I was woken up in the first place, I tossed and turned in my bed trying to find a comfortable position to fall back asleep. As I lay there, I thought to myself: “Joshua?” That’s when I realized God was talking to me about the book of Joshua. Instead of getting up and reading it, I forced myself to go back to bed until 8:30 (I had a Skype call with my mom at 9). While connecting with my mom on Skype, she asked me how things were going for me. I was completely honest with her. I told her: “I’m getting real sick and tired of being here in Asia. I’m ready to come home.”
As I sat talking to my mom. I couldn’t help but think about all of the worries and “What If’s” going through my head. Since landing here in Asia, all I’ve been able to think about is: “What’s next?” That’s when my mom spoke up and told me that she was spending time with God yesterday. She told me that she was praying for me and she felt that God had big plans for me. The hardest words for me to hear that came out of my mom’s mouth were: “I know you have good plans for her. I’m letting her go. I submit her to you.” As I sat there listening to my mom, my eyes started welling up with tears. And I felt anxiety fall upon me.
After ending my Skype call with my mom, I sat on my bed still in tears and anxiety. The last thing I wanted to do was to talk to God about how I was feeling. After all I was here because of Him. Instead of fighting Him, I reached for my Bible and went straight to Psalm where I read: “My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.” As I read the verse over-and-over, God reminded me of the book of Joshua. That’s where God began really speaking to me.
As I started reading through the first page. I started realizing what God was trying to communicate to me. However, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t still in tears while reading what He was speaking. He said: “I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses.” He also kept on reminding me that He would never leave me nor forsake me. To be strong and courageous because that’s what He commanded me to do. As I went on reading, I came to the realization God was basically giving me an insight into what His will was for me. His perfect plan. He told me: “You are to help them until the Lord gives them rest as He has done for you. After that, you may go back and occupy your own land.”
I knew exactly what He meant by this. It was only more confirmation for me. He is calling me to the Nations. That He was re-confirming to me the very first thing He spoke to me the day I gave my life over to Him., that I was going to travel, that my plans of living in America was not going to happen until I went to give those rest. I’ll be completely honest. I’m still nervous to see how this is all going to pan out, what my journey is going to look like from here.